Is There an Emotional Disconnect In Your Family?
Has your family been struggling to get along? Do you feel like you have to tell your kids the same things over and over because they never listen? Does it seem like you spend all your time arguing, blaming and annoying each other?
When your family is dealing with conflict, you and your loved ones may feel like you have to tiptoe around each other constantly. Because every interaction seems to end poorly, you may find yourselves withdrawing into your rooms and spending time alone. You may not know what to talk about with your kids anymore—they’re reluctant to discuss school, friends, and everything else in their lives. Frustrated, you may ask yourself: Why are we all so disconnected? What can we do to mend our relationships?
You And Your Spouse May Clash About How To Parent The Right Way
Navigating a marriage or relationship is hard enough. But when there are kids involved, things get even messier. You and your partner may clash over your responsibilities. Perhaps you feel like you do all the parenting yourself and your spouse just sits idly by. While you run yourself ragged trying to be the mediator in the family, they’re mentally checked out and busy with other things.
Or maybe you find yourself in the opposite role—you can’t get a moment alone because your spouse keeps telling you that you don’t help out. Nothing you ever do is good enough for them. As a result, you’d probably rather be working or spending time outside the home.
Deep down, you may wish that you could all find a way to live in the same house without stepping all over each other. If this is the case, we encourage you to connect with us. Here at Life Catalyst Therapy, we want to give you and your loved ones the tools you need to solve conflict and come together as a loving and connected family.
Every Family Will Experience Conflict
If you peruse Amazon, you will find thousands of books on how to raise a family. If it was easy, we wouldn’t need so many books to tell us how to do it. But it isn’t. Parents bring different values and expectations to the table, and this often leads to conflict. And kids aren’t born magically obedient to their parents—earning a child’s trust and respect often takes time.
Many people just expect other family members to be happy. Parents may tell their kids, “We bought you a new Xbox and took you on a ski trip—you should be grateful to us!” But statements like this only obscure the main issue. The root problem is not ungratefulness, but emotional disconnection. If kids are unhappy with their parents and vice versa, the question is why? What’s keeping the relationship from satisfying everyone involved?
Knowing How You Don’t Want To Parent Is Easy. Finding An Alternative Way Is Not.
In some ways, parenting on your own is rocket science. Perhaps you know how you don’t want to parent—telling yourself that you’ll never repeat your parents’ mistakes—but you’re not sure what the alternative is. Every solution you’ve tried feels too strict or too lax and you can’t find a happy medium. Every attempt to resolve conflict lands you back where you started.
Therapy can help you freshen your perspective and find ways to solve disconnection with the whole family involved. By working to improve communication and understand each other’s perspectives, we are confident that you and your loved ones can build a lifetime of wonderful memories together.
Therapy Can Help Your Family Increase Your Empathy For Each Other
The reason there are so many different books on raising a family is that there is no one-size-fits-all approach. What works for someone else may not work for you. Every family has its own unique dynamics and every member has their own temperament, needs, and preferences. Therapy is a chance to figure out why you and your loved ones differ and use that knowledge to increase your empathy for each other.
The treatment plan will be uniquely tailored to your family’s goals. Our counseling services are open to any family—blended, multicultural, LGBT, etc. We are flexible to different family dynamics, as we know that no two families are exactly alike.
Your Family Can Learn To Solve Misunderstandings And Establish Healthy Boundaries
As we work together, we will help you and your family identify the common problems that lead to arguments and create solutions that everyone can agree on. Oftentimes, the reoccurring problems you experience come down to misunderstandings about each family member’s perspective. For instance, suppose that you need time to yourself when you come home from work, but your kids never leave you alone. Because of how exasperated you are, you often snap and yell at them, which causes conflict.
Your spouse and your children may think you’re just angry. But what they don’t know is that you need time to recharge and wind down. Therapy can help you articulate this need so that you can advocate for yourself and help you family respect your boundaries. In this way, all of you can come to a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives.
Therapy Can Help You Improve Your Parenting Skills
Family counseling can help you and your partner become better parents. In particular, we want to give you skills to negotiate with your children so that you don’t have to tell them the same things over and over again. You will learn to communicate more peacefully and efficiently so that your children can understand you without getting upset.
For example, maybe you repeatedly tell your child that if they don’t clean their room, they won’t be allowed to use any technology for the day. However, the more you instruct your child to do something, the less likely they are to obey. We will help you work on making healthier agreements with your children, such as, “If you don’t clean your room by six o’clock, you won’t be able to use technology.” This can prevent you from having to give your children the same instructions over and over.
In the end, the most important thing is commitment. As long as you and your loved ones want to heal your relationship wounds, you can. With our support, we are confident that you can have a peaceful family life where everyone feels heard, respected and loved.
You May Have Some Questions About Family Therapy…
Doesn’t going to family therapy make me a bad parent (or child)?
Good parents seek help. Just as no athlete rises to the top of their game without the support of numerous coaches and trainers, no parent should have to lean on their own strength to solve their family issues. What’s more, going to counseling shows your family that you care about them and are actively working to make your relationships better.
What if my family members don’t want to come?
Your family members would probably like to be able to get along better, too. If they are hesitant about therapy, you can reassure them that this is a chance to learn how to work together, not point fingers. What’s more, they may be more open to seeking help if they believe you are willing to do your part. If you tell them that you have things to work on, maybe they will change their minds.
What if counseling makes things worse?
If you and your loved ones continue to try and solve your family problems alone, chances are that not much will change. Seeing a family therapist is an opportunity to make things different. And in case arguments do break out during sessions, our counselors are trained to de-escalate conflict and make sure interactions stay peaceful. Besides, our focus is not on who’s right and wrong, but on how everyone feels and what can be done to meet the needs of each person.
Your Family Deserves To Experience Love And Harmony
If your family is going through a time of crisis, we would be honored to help you strengthen your bonds and renew your love for each other. To get started, you can call our office manager or schedule your first appointment through our online scheduling portal.